1
00:00:31,995 --> 00:00:33,288
Oh.

2
00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:34,409
Ohh!

3
00:00:35,593 --> 00:00:36,649
Whoo!

4
00:00:36,664 --> 00:00:38,436
. Whoo.

5
00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:43,270
_

6
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:50,231
_

7
00:00:52,491 --> 00:00:54,386
Mm-hmm.

8
00:01:33,139 --> 00:01:34,574
The Morristown Frackers

9
00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:37,280
would like to thank you
all for attending today.

10
00:01:40,363 --> 00:01:44,467
All... oh, let's call it a dozen of you.

11
00:01:44,550 --> 00:01:46,086
Guess you lucky fans

12
00:01:46,158 --> 00:01:48,286
can just feel free to
stretch your legs right out

13
00:01:48,354 --> 00:01:50,362
and enjoy your own section

14
00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:52,673
all to yourself.

15
00:01:59,551 --> 00:02:01,101
Hey.

16
00:02:01,348 --> 00:02:03,651
What, um... What are
you... What are you wearing?

17
00:02:03,717 --> 00:02:05,386
Yeah, all right. I
know I look ridiculous,

18
00:02:05,452 --> 00:02:08,074
but my dad wore it when they
went on a winning streak in '86,

19
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:11,187
so I figured, can't hurt.

20
00:02:11,324 --> 00:02:15,462
Is dressing badly, like,
just a thing for baseball?

21
00:02:15,529 --> 00:02:17,230
'Cause that would explain his jacket.

22
00:02:17,297 --> 00:02:20,433
Superstition is a thing in baseball.

23
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,269
It's a tradition that if
you're on a losing streak,

24
00:02:22,336 --> 00:02:23,871
you change everything that you're doing.

25
00:02:23,938 --> 00:02:24,939
And if you're on a winning streak,

26
00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:26,506
you don't change anything.

27
00:02:26,574 --> 00:02:28,175
Well said. Now, can you say
some of that into the mic?

28
00:02:28,242 --> 00:02:29,743
I ain't paying you to talk to Charles.

29
00:02:29,809 --> 00:02:30,811
Uribe's at the plate.

30
00:02:32,813 --> 00:02:34,041
I don't need a microphone

31
00:02:34,105 --> 00:02:37,517
to chat with a dozen
people at the ballpark.

32
00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:40,653
Hey, Uribe! You look
slimmer! Did you lose weight?

33
00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:44,325
Oh, yes, I did, Jim.
Thank you for noticing.

34
00:02:45,158 --> 00:02:47,628
As long as it's into the mic.

35
00:02:51,032 --> 00:02:54,401
Pedro Uribe has lost weight.

36
00:02:54,468 --> 00:02:56,670
That is all.

37
00:02:56,736 --> 00:02:59,272
You know what's not helping
my suicidal depression?

38
00:02:59,339 --> 00:03:01,509
Calling baseball games
into an empty stadium

39
00:03:01,575 --> 00:03:03,743
and having my own words
bounce back into my face

40
00:03:03,811 --> 00:03:07,014
like some kind of haunting
metaphor for life's futility.

41
00:03:07,081 --> 00:03:09,683
Listen, my plan is gonna take time.

42
00:03:09,749 --> 00:03:11,919
Morristown has been drowning
in apathy for so long,

43
00:03:11,986 --> 00:03:13,287
they... they don't even recognize

44
00:03:13,354 --> 00:03:15,122
that I'm throwing them a life preserver.

45
00:03:15,188 --> 00:03:17,343
Plus, I'm competing with
dirt-cheap entertainment

46
00:03:17,413 --> 00:03:18,580
that's in every home here.

47
00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:20,161
Cable?

48
00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:23,263
- Meth.
- Ah.

49
00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:25,266
But they'll all come around soon enough

50
00:03:25,332 --> 00:03:27,867
'cause I'm offering the
only drug more powerful.

51
00:03:27,934 --> 00:03:29,336
Heroin.

52
00:03:29,402 --> 00:03:31,104
Nostalgia.

53
00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:33,873
I think you're wildly
underestimating heroin.

54
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:35,368
When the team starts winning again,

55
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:39,446
everyone's gonna come back so
they can relive the glory days.

56
00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:40,480
What makes you think

57
00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:42,550
that that team is gonna
win any ball games?

58
00:03:42,617 --> 00:03:46,687
Our luck is gonna change. We're due!

59
00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:48,989
The team, me, even you.

60
00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:04,104
Oh, yeah, laugh at my hope.

61
00:04:04,170 --> 00:04:07,942
I'm sorry, it's just...
You actually believe that?

62
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:11,044
Yeah, and I put my money where
my mouth is when I got my loan.

63
00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:14,881
You know what? Let me
take a look at this.

64
00:04:14,949 --> 00:04:16,550
- No, wait, 'cause it's...
- No, no! Come on.

65
00:04:16,617 --> 00:04:18,519
No! It's turtle racing starting soon.

66
00:04:18,586 --> 00:04:20,287
- Stacy.
- Come on, hey, let me see it.

67
00:04:20,354 --> 00:04:21,722
I know a thing or two about loans.

68
00:04:21,789 --> 00:04:24,223
I did a bunch of commercials
for reverse mortgages

69
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:25,660
back in the Philippines.

70
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,661
Is it big enough?

71
00:04:28,728 --> 00:04:31,164
Uh, I'm gonna need you to
top me off, though, first.

72
00:04:31,232 --> 00:04:34,635
Jesus, you're blowing
through all my good whiskey.

73
00:04:36,103 --> 00:04:37,403
Care for some...

74
00:04:38,538 --> 00:04:40,039
... Sambuca?

75
00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:53,020
You have a balloon payment due

76
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:55,188
after the first month of the season?

77
00:04:55,248 --> 00:04:57,917
Yep. Hey! No nudging the turtles!

78
00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:01,795
Yeah, wait till you get to page 47.

79
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,263
No, I saw that.

80
00:05:03,329 --> 00:05:05,999
The team has to finish above .500.

81
00:05:09,869 --> 00:05:13,139
Why in the world would
you agree to all this crap?

82
00:05:13,206 --> 00:05:15,009
I couldn't just let the team die.

83
00:05:15,076 --> 00:05:17,544
It would be like losing a limb.

84
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:21,486
My dad played first base for
Morristown from '81 to '87.

85
00:05:22,449 --> 00:05:26,619
Shit, I lost my virginity in
the visitors' bullpen in '88.

86
00:05:26,687 --> 00:05:29,189
I did what I had to do.

87
00:05:29,256 --> 00:05:31,859
Here's to giant, life-altering mistakes.

88
00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:34,861
We both know them well.

89
00:05:34,929 --> 00:05:37,131
We surely do.

90
00:05:39,365 --> 00:05:41,934
Ugh! This shit is disgusting.

91
00:05:42,002 --> 00:05:43,603
- It does the trick.
-  Mm-hmm.

92
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:46,139
Christ's sakes, you're
starting to look good to me,

93
00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:47,874
and you're a goddamned disaster.

94
00:05:47,942 --> 00:05:50,110
Well, thank you for the half-compliment.

95
00:05:50,177 --> 00:05:51,545
And for the record,

96
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,281
you looked good to me when
that bottle was still full.

97
00:05:54,348 --> 00:05:56,884
I'll give you one shot.

98
00:05:56,951 --> 00:05:58,485
Woo me.

99
00:05:58,552 --> 00:06:01,188
I may not be the best in any room,

100
00:06:01,254 --> 00:06:04,057
but I am definitely
the best in this room.

101
00:06:10,598 --> 00:06:12,566
- Get it off!
- I'm getting it off!

102
00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:14,798
Aah!

103
00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,336
All right, for those
of you just joining us,

104
00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:18,105
I got a good one going here.

105
00:06:18,172 --> 00:06:19,540
Brockmire taking no chances,

106
00:06:19,607 --> 00:06:21,008
starting right off in the missionary.

107
00:06:21,074 --> 00:06:22,375
Okay, shh.

108
00:06:22,442 --> 00:06:23,810
- He's trying to find his rhythm.
- Okay, okay, shh.

109
00:06:23,877 --> 00:06:25,312
Ho!

110
00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:28,581
Julia James with a surprise
finger in the keister!

111
00:06:28,648 --> 00:06:30,516
And Brockmire is into it.

112
00:06:31,819 --> 00:06:33,319
Oh, man!

113
00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:36,089
The old fastball sign makes
for a real snug butt plug.

114
00:06:36,156 --> 00:06:37,857
Okay, folks.

115
00:06:37,925 --> 00:06:40,494
Bott...

116
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:41,994
Bottom of the 9th.

117
00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:45,765
Frackers have runners on the corners,

118
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:47,167
and I'm just gonna...

119
00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:50,369
I'm gonna rest my eyes
for just a little bit.

120
00:06:50,437 --> 00:06:53,006
Sambuca.

121
00:06:55,708 --> 00:07:00,012
Hey, am I wrong? Is the
winning point at bat?

122
00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:02,815
The winning run is up, yes,

123
00:07:02,882 --> 00:07:04,217
but he hits the ball

124
00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:06,487
like he's trying to wake
it up from a little nap,

125
00:07:06,554 --> 00:07:09,656
so I'm just gonna take it easy
until he makes the final out.

126
00:07:09,723 --> 00:07:10,924
Okay, whatever,

127
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,425
as long as you stop talking about...

128
00:07:12,492 --> 00:07:15,228
Oh, my God, last night was
some of the best sex I ever had.

129
00:07:15,295 --> 00:07:18,098
No. No, you didn't
stop talking about it.

130
00:07:18,165 --> 00:07:20,333
There was an improvisational
quality to it.

131
00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:23,069
It... It was like every
surface in her apartment

132
00:07:23,127 --> 00:07:25,262
- was a workbench upon which...
- No.

133
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,502
Yeah, upon which

134
00:07:26,531 --> 00:07:27,815
- we constructed our sexual art.
- Please.

135
00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:31,110
Hey, Jim? Please stop, okay?

136
00:07:31,177 --> 00:07:32,612
Jules is like my mom,

137
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,014
and you've been talking
about having sex with her

138
00:07:35,081 --> 00:07:36,149
for the past three hours.

139
00:07:36,216 --> 00:07:37,683
- I just...
- It's messed up!

140
00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,853
I just... I have to end things with her

141
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,156
before everything gets messy,

142
00:07:42,223 --> 00:07:44,258
metaphorically and literally.

143
00:07:44,324 --> 00:07:46,592
We went through half a
tube of lube last night.

144
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:47,828
Aaaah!

145
00:07:47,910 --> 00:07:49,144
Stop it! Stop, shh!

146
00:07:49,196 --> 00:07:50,998
This wasn't about vaginal moisture.

147
00:07:51,064 --> 00:07:52,533
She has that in spades.

148
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,701
It was strictly a friction issue.

149
00:07:54,768 --> 00:07:56,336
Shut up!

150
00:07:58,538 --> 00:08:00,173
Lazy fly ball to left field.

151
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:02,642
This should do it, folks.

152
00:08:02,877 --> 00:08:03,877
Whoa!

153
00:08:03,944 --> 00:08:05,379
No! It falls!

154
00:08:05,446 --> 00:08:08,549
And now Maldonado kicks
it like it owes him money.

155
00:08:08,615 --> 00:08:11,517
And now they're sprinting
around the bases.

156
00:08:11,584 --> 00:08:14,120
- Go, go, go!
- It's a Little League home run!

157
00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:15,855
The Frackers win!

158
00:08:17,057 --> 00:08:19,559
The Frackers win!

159
00:08:21,528 --> 00:08:23,864
Yeah! Whoo!

160
00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:33,039
Uh...

161
00:08:35,074 --> 00:08:37,543
Uh... for the record,

162
00:08:37,610 --> 00:08:39,879
Sambuca tastes better
on the way out, folks.

163
00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:43,884
Ohh.

164
00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:46,687
Look, I'm disaster on about
17 different levels, all right,

165
00:08:46,754 --> 00:08:49,255
so I just think any more
hanky panky between us

166
00:08:49,322 --> 00:08:51,524
would, well, probably be a mistake.

167
00:08:51,591 --> 00:08:52,826
Huge mistake.

168
00:08:52,893 --> 00:08:55,394
For Christ's sakes, you say
things like "hanky panky."

169
00:08:55,461 --> 00:08:56,896
Trust me, sleeping with you

170
00:08:56,964 --> 00:08:58,365
was one of the biggest
regrets of my life,

171
00:08:58,432 --> 00:09:00,834
and I have a tattoo of a
dream catcher on my ankle.

172
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,549
To be clear, okay, I...

173
00:09:02,612 --> 00:09:04,580
Hey, I do not think that I am capable

174
00:09:04,660 --> 00:09:07,144
of having a successful
adult relationship anymore.

175
00:09:07,208 --> 00:09:09,776
Yeah, no. That's... abundantly clear.

176
00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:13,145
Well, getting emasculated
in front of America

177
00:09:13,212 --> 00:09:14,581
caused me to chase ass like a Kennedy,

178
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:18,055
but, you know, you're not
just some fling in a bar.

179
00:09:18,102 --> 00:09:19,219
You happen to be my boss.

180
00:09:19,286 --> 00:09:21,154
So... What... What...
What are you doing?

181
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,322
Are you serious?

182
00:09:23,389 --> 00:09:24,857
They won.

183
00:09:24,924 --> 00:09:28,227
So... unfortunately for both of us,

184
00:09:28,294 --> 00:09:31,831
we're gonna have to repeat
everything we did last night.

185
00:09:35,133 --> 00:09:36,982
Ho, what the hell. All right.

186
00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:38,772
Uh, just keep that dream
catcher tattoo covered up,

187
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,374
because I have to maintain
an erection over here.

188
00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,210
I actually don't think
that's gonna be a problem.

189
00:09:43,277 --> 00:09:45,012
I call bottom this time!

190
00:09:48,615 --> 00:09:50,549
I can believe you went
down on me three times.

191
00:09:50,616 --> 00:09:52,101
Oh, I can do it again.

192
00:09:52,149 --> 00:09:53,119
You still haven't experienced

193
00:09:53,194 --> 00:09:56,517
what I like to call the
conference on the mound.

194
00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:57,820
- Okay, shh.
- You know, it's kind of a...

195
00:09:57,915 --> 00:09:59,724
Shut up.

196
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:02,194
Is that the finger
that you put in my ass?

197
00:10:02,786 --> 00:10:03,820
Shh.

198
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:06,661
Hope you folks are all enjoying

199
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:09,009
"Free Cold Medicine Day"
here at the ballpark.

200
00:10:09,070 --> 00:10:12,071
Quick reminder... Go ahead
and have another gel pack.

201
00:10:12,138 --> 00:10:13,606
The Frackers won't judge you

202
00:10:13,674 --> 00:10:16,197
like those snooty pharmacy assholes.

203
00:10:16,276 --> 00:10:18,112
All right, now, listen up.

204
00:10:18,179 --> 00:10:19,480
We got a good one going here.

205
00:10:19,546 --> 00:10:20,882
Look at the field now,

206
00:10:20,948 --> 00:10:22,316
because the Frackers are threatening

207
00:10:22,382 --> 00:10:23,550
here in the bottom of the 8th

208
00:10:23,617 --> 00:10:25,185
with runners on the corners.

209
00:10:27,021 --> 00:10:28,822
And here comes the pitch.

210
00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:31,452
Whoo!

211
00:10:31,524 --> 00:10:35,928
Some might call that Istanbul,
but I call it Constantinople!

212
00:10:35,996 --> 00:10:37,801
The Frackers take the lead!

213
00:10:37,857 --> 00:10:39,599
My gosh, what a comeback.

214
00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:44,937
So, a Sambuca-fueled Brockmire
is still struggling mightily

215
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:46,205
with the button-fly jeans.

216
00:10:46,272 --> 00:10:47,974
Come on, now!

217
00:10:48,041 --> 00:10:49,810
All right. Here comes the
payoff pitch from Grant.

218
00:10:50,978 --> 00:10:53,180
Deep fly ball to center field.

219
00:10:53,247 --> 00:10:54,615
Back at the warning track.

220
00:10:54,681 --> 00:10:56,616
He makes the grab,

221
00:10:56,684 --> 00:11:01,355
and the Frackers miraculously
escape a bases-loaded jam.

222
00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:03,324
My goodness!

223
00:11:04,724 --> 00:11:05,558
Proceed.

224
00:11:07,261 --> 00:11:09,063
Oh, my God. Just shoot me.

225
00:11:09,129 --> 00:11:10,196
Frickin' shoot me.

226
00:11:10,263 --> 00:11:11,731
Oh, my goodness.

227
00:11:11,799 --> 00:11:14,134
He dropped the ball. That's a balk!

228
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,604
A walk-off balk

229
00:11:15,628 --> 00:11:18,071
gives the Frackers
their fifth win in a row.

230
00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:20,340
Now I have seen everything.

231
00:11:20,407 --> 00:11:21,474
Cheers.

232
00:11:25,378 --> 00:11:27,046
Oh, it's happening.

233
00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:29,016
- No, he's not!
- It's happening.

234
00:11:29,083 --> 00:11:31,285
No! Oh, yes!

235
00:11:31,352 --> 00:11:34,355
All right! Go, Brockmire!

236
00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:36,356
Oh, my God!

237
00:11:36,424 --> 00:11:37,624
Ladies and gentlemen,

238
00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:42,663
Brockmire showing the crowd
why naked men should never run.

239
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:48,868
Your dick and balls look like
they're having a fistfight!

240
00:11:49,903 --> 00:11:51,337
Home run... Frackers!

241
00:11:51,405 --> 00:11:53,540
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

242
00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:56,276
That's their sixth win in a row.

243
00:11:56,343 --> 00:12:01,348
♪ And the rockets' red glare ♪

244
00:12:01,415 --> 00:12:06,547
♪ The bombs bursting in air ♪

245
00:12:06,627 --> 00:12:08,746
♪ Gave proof through the... ♪

246
00:12:08,777 --> 00:12:10,023
Where have you been?!

247
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,206
Charles got T-boned by

248
00:12:11,294 --> 00:12:12,988
an ambulance on the way here.

249
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:16,363
I-I... It was full of
blood for a blood drive.

250
00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:17,731
I kept slipping in it.

251
00:12:17,764 --> 00:12:19,381
- Wait, so that's not your blood?
- No.

252
00:12:19,453 --> 00:12:21,033
- Get out. Get out.
- I don't know whose blood this is.

253
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,403
- I don't know whose blood this is!
- Close the door.

254
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:25,938
She's already singing.
We don't have any time.

255
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,108
Shit, shit, shit.

256
00:12:28,175 --> 00:12:30,077
♪ ... wave ♪

257
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:31,512
Come on, Brockmire!

258
00:12:31,579 --> 00:12:32,914
All right. I'm hurrying.
I'm hurrying I am. I am.

259
00:12:32,979 --> 00:12:36,950
♪ ... land of the free ♪

260
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:39,486
♪ Oh ♪

261
00:12:39,552 --> 00:12:42,455
♪ And the home ♪

262
00:12:42,522 --> 00:12:47,728
♪ Of the brave ♪

263
00:12:47,795 --> 00:12:50,397
Lay it down.

264
00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,474
My goodness. You were right.

265
00:13:01,541 --> 00:13:03,743
These people... They
are high on nostalgia.

266
00:13:03,810 --> 00:13:05,045
Jules!

267
00:13:05,112 --> 00:13:06,413
- Jules.
- Hey!

268
00:13:06,479 --> 00:13:09,282
Who's that haircut with teeth?

269
00:13:09,349 --> 00:13:10,683
Um, that's Gary.

270
00:13:10,751 --> 00:13:12,486
- Gary.
- He's the point person around here

271
00:13:12,552 --> 00:13:14,620
for Pennsylvania Shale Oil and Gas.

272
00:13:14,687 --> 00:13:16,322
We kind of had a thing for a bit.

273
00:13:16,389 --> 00:13:17,356
Did you now?

274
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:19,860
Look at this crowd.

275
00:13:19,926 --> 00:13:22,796
I'm so proud of you.
Your dream's coming true.

276
00:13:22,863 --> 00:13:24,198
Mm.

277
00:13:24,264 --> 00:13:25,731
Thank you.

278
00:13:25,799 --> 00:13:27,468
Um, Gary, I want you to meet...

279
00:13:27,535 --> 00:13:29,269
Jim Brockmire.

280
00:13:29,335 --> 00:13:30,870
Wow. I'll tell you what.

281
00:13:30,937 --> 00:13:33,882
I am a big fan of your
work in Kansas City.

282
00:13:33,945 --> 00:13:35,875
- I don't like you.
- What?

283
00:13:35,978 --> 00:13:38,177
Something about your essence is
just rubbing me the wrong way,

284
00:13:38,343 --> 00:13:39,213
so I'd appreciate it if you'd just...

285
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:40,347
just keep your distance from me.

286
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:42,482
Uh, Jim...

287
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:45,535
Gary is a friend.

288
00:13:45,601 --> 00:13:47,780
He's the one who helped me get my loan

289
00:13:47,874 --> 00:13:48,707
so I could buy the team.

290
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:49,563
- Really?
- Yes.

291
00:13:49,581 --> 00:13:50,476
'Cause I read that loan,

292
00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:52,092
and no true friend would
ever let you sign it.

293
00:13:52,713 --> 00:13:54,581
Come on. The guy is
obviously up to something.

294
00:13:54,647 --> 00:13:57,151
The man works for a gas
company, for crying out loud.

295
00:13:57,218 --> 00:14:00,187
Never trust a man who sucks
Satan's dick for a living.

296
00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,555
All right.

297
00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:03,589
Nice to meet you. Stay
the hell away from me.

298
00:14:03,656 --> 00:14:06,993
Don't be sorry. Everybody gets jealous.

299
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,863
Jea... Uh, whoa. Excuse...

300
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,132
Now, why would I be jealous, sweetheart?

301
00:14:12,199 --> 00:14:13,434
Well, it's only natural.

302
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,302
When two people spend
this much time together,

303
00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:16,637
feelings bubble up.

304
00:14:16,704 --> 00:14:18,771
Darlin', I don't have feelings for you.

305
00:14:18,839 --> 00:14:20,941
I don't have feelings for anybody.

306
00:14:23,611 --> 00:14:25,679
Just out of curiosity, though,

307
00:14:25,746 --> 00:14:29,049
um, how long did you and
Gary date for, anyway?

308
00:14:29,116 --> 00:14:31,651
We went out two or three times.

309
00:14:31,718 --> 00:14:33,653
Did you, uh, have sex with him?

310
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,755
Seven and a half...

311
00:14:35,823 --> 00:14:39,126
Depends how you... I mean,
eight times, probably.

312
00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:40,876
Wow. Seven and a half.

313
00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:41,643
Half a time?

314
00:14:41,679 --> 00:14:43,114
That should have been
interesting. All right.

315
00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:45,432
Just... I'm sorry. I
can't... I... Really?

316
00:14:45,498 --> 00:14:48,334
'Cause I can't believe you
actually had sex with that guy.

317
00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:49,836
Why? He's very nice

318
00:14:49,904 --> 00:14:51,183
and knows a lot about wine

319
00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:52,221
- and isn't diabetic.
- Oh.

320
00:14:52,284 --> 00:14:54,074
And around here, that makes him
the catch of the frickin' century.

321
00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:55,843
And you know what? You
have no right to judge me.

322
00:14:55,910 --> 00:14:58,679
You've admitted to having
sex with prostitutes

323
00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:00,146
all over the world.

324
00:15:00,214 --> 00:15:02,382
Hey, I was helping those
ladies find a new life

325
00:15:02,449 --> 00:15:03,483
20 bucks at a time.

326
00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:04,718
20 bucks?

327
00:15:04,785 --> 00:15:06,987
Oh, the dollar's very strong right now.

328
00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:08,756
You know what? You're an asshole.

329
00:15:08,823 --> 00:15:10,924
I can't even look at
you. Tonight, blindfolds.

330
00:15:10,991 --> 00:15:12,391
No, we're not. You know why?

331
00:15:12,459 --> 00:15:13,926
'Cause I'm tired of treating my dick

332
00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:15,294
like some kind of a lucky

333
00:15:15,367 --> 00:15:16,136
- rabbit's foot.
- Oh.

334
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,263
No, the idea that our sex

335
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:20,032
is actually helping the
Frackers win ball games is...

336
00:15:20,099 --> 00:15:21,067
It's ludicrous.

337
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,369
So, if you don't believe in the streak

338
00:15:23,436 --> 00:15:25,638
and you don't have any feelings for me,

339
00:15:25,705 --> 00:15:26,873
why have we been having sex

340
00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:28,541
every night for the last two weeks?

341
00:15:28,608 --> 00:15:30,444
Because I thought my only other option

342
00:15:30,518 --> 00:15:32,762
was talking to that asshole all night.

343
00:15:32,810 --> 00:15:33,516
But you know?

344
00:15:33,578 --> 00:15:34,587
- No, maybe I made a mistake.
- Oh.

345
00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:36,049
Hey, friend? Excuse me.

346
00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:37,184
What's your story?

347
00:15:37,251 --> 00:15:38,786
Oh. Well...

348
00:15:38,853 --> 00:15:41,387
I was born two days prematurely.

349
00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:42,823
No, no.

350
00:15:42,890 --> 00:15:44,725
Clearly, I was right to
have sex with you instead.

351
00:15:44,731 --> 00:15:46,459
So, all right. How about this...

352
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,928
Ehh...

353
00:15:47,994 --> 00:15:50,062
I don't really feel like it anymore.

354
00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:52,499
I mean, I didn't feel like
it half the times we did it.

355
00:15:52,565 --> 00:15:55,134
Your personal grooming is...

356
00:15:56,603 --> 00:15:58,238
It's atrocious, and you
smell like weird herbs.

357
00:15:58,305 --> 00:15:59,906
Oh, that's the Sambuca.

358
00:15:59,973 --> 00:16:03,743
Only reason I did it was because
it was my civic frickin' duty.

359
00:16:03,810 --> 00:16:06,680
But I would rather lose
every game from here on in

360
00:16:06,747 --> 00:16:09,416
than have sex with you again.

361
00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:12,185
Fi-Fine. Okay.

362
00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:15,855
I'll bet we win tomorrow's game by...

363
00:16:15,922 --> 00:16:18,790
And with the score 18-0,

364
00:16:18,858 --> 00:16:20,761
looks like the fairy tale is over

365
00:16:20,828 --> 00:16:22,863
and the Frackers have
turned back into a pumpkin

366
00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:24,231
through no fault of anyone's

367
00:16:24,297 --> 00:16:27,266
other than the players
on the field, of course.

368
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,819
All right. Frackers are
down to their final out.

369
00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,521
Here comes the pitch.

370
00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:42,290
Good slider there,

371
00:16:42,357 --> 00:16:45,693
and the count goes to 0-2 now to Uribe.

372
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,062
Hey, Brockmire!

373
00:16:47,129 --> 00:16:49,999
You want to party with Uribe tonight?

374
00:16:52,367 --> 00:16:54,435
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm free.

375
00:16:54,502 --> 00:16:55,736
Strike!

376
00:16:55,804 --> 00:16:57,838
I guess I'm free now.

377
00:17:00,308 --> 00:17:03,010
So, is you dating anyone?

378
00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:05,579
No. Why do you ask that?

379
00:17:05,646 --> 00:17:08,416
Oh, I think maybe you and Miss Jules.

380
00:17:08,483 --> 00:17:10,217
No, no. Hey, no.

381
00:17:10,284 --> 00:17:13,254
Nothing going on between
me and Miss "Hools."

382
00:17:13,321 --> 00:17:15,890
What about you? You...
You got anybody special?

383
00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:18,360
Ha. Uribe never marry.

384
00:17:18,426 --> 00:17:21,796
No one ties me down,
not even my 13 kids.

385
00:17:21,864 --> 00:17:23,832
13 kids?

386
00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:25,166
I'm Catholic.

387
00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:27,468
Condoms are sin, and I hate to pull out.

388
00:17:27,536 --> 00:17:29,805
I hear you. Very difficult
to leave the party

389
00:17:29,872 --> 00:17:31,239
when it is just getting good.

390
00:17:31,306 --> 00:17:33,434
Child support is why I still play,

391
00:17:33,538 --> 00:17:35,376
even though I only 29.

392
00:17:35,443 --> 00:17:38,446
American kids are so expensive.

393
00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:40,381
The Dominican ones, not so much.

394
00:17:40,449 --> 00:17:41,883
The dollar is very strong right now.

395
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,818
Oh, hey. You... You
don't have to tell me.

396
00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:47,655
Ooh-ha!

397
00:17:47,722 --> 00:17:49,691
Ah.

398
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:52,828
And as my guest...

399
00:17:52,895 --> 00:17:55,364
you can pick.

400
00:17:55,431 --> 00:17:56,598
Oh. Well, uh...

401
00:17:56,665 --> 00:17:58,833
Well, let's just...
We'll let the girls pick.

402
00:17:58,901 --> 00:18:00,068
You're cute.

403
00:18:00,135 --> 00:18:02,636
You remind me of my favorite stepdad.

404
00:18:02,703 --> 00:18:05,507
I... Oh... Well, you
know, I get that a lot.

405
00:18:05,513 --> 00:18:08,279
- Um, Uribe.
- Hmm?

406
00:18:08,350 --> 00:18:09,811
Pedro?

407
00:18:09,877 --> 00:18:11,379
Um...

408
00:18:11,446 --> 00:18:14,382
How likely is this to
become a group-sex situation?

409
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:15,984
No, because, in the fog of war,

410
00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:17,586
sometimes things get a little chaotic,

411
00:18:17,653 --> 00:18:19,788
so I think we should
set some ground rules.

412
00:18:19,855 --> 00:18:21,056
Oye.

413
00:18:21,123 --> 00:18:23,091
I am no cigua, okay?

414
00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:26,060
If my dick is inside of a woman,

415
00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:28,963
whatever you do to me is not gay,

416
00:18:29,030 --> 00:18:30,365
so do a lot of it.

417
00:18:32,835 --> 00:18:34,302
A lot!

418
00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:35,538
A lot.

419
00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:38,340
Hey.

420
00:18:38,406 --> 00:18:40,509
Let's make things interesting.

421
00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:41,710
Oh.

422
00:18:43,511 --> 00:18:44,980
Mmm.

423
00:18:45,047 --> 00:18:47,048
They're already pretty fascinating.

424
00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:51,585
- Who is it?
- Brockmire.

425
00:18:54,423 --> 00:18:56,324
I thought you were with Uribe.

426
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:59,846
I was, I was, but I think I realized

427
00:18:59,885 --> 00:19:01,228
that I don't want to
be that guy anymore.

428
00:19:01,296 --> 00:19:03,198
Maybe I never was
that guy, but I just...

429
00:19:03,264 --> 00:19:04,899
I wanted to be because
then that would mean

430
00:19:04,966 --> 00:19:07,468
I couldn't be hurt again or something.

431
00:19:07,536 --> 00:19:08,904
I just...

432
00:19:08,971 --> 00:19:10,439
I know that I like you.

433
00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,407
I like that you see the world
for the shit pile that it is,

434
00:19:13,474 --> 00:19:15,443
but that just makes you shovel faster.

435
00:19:16,071 --> 00:19:18,078
Most of all, I like that we seem to have

436
00:19:18,145 --> 00:19:20,949
the same exact level of
functional alcoholism.

437
00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:22,918
I don't want to be
getting gross and high

438
00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:24,218
with a bunch of strangers.

439
00:19:24,286 --> 00:19:27,222
I want to... I want to be here with you.

440
00:19:27,289 --> 00:19:28,857
Are you high right now?

441
00:19:28,924 --> 00:19:30,826
A little bit, yes. I-I'm not prude.

442
00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:32,494
I had a couple toots. Come on.

443
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,868
You know, the thing is, is you and me...

444
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,832
It's just not a good idea.

445
00:19:36,898 --> 00:19:39,266
This is a terrible idea, but...

446
00:19:40,668 --> 00:19:43,938
I looked into your eyes for
a long time the other night.

447
00:19:44,005 --> 00:19:46,474
I know that you're feeling
the same things I am.

448
00:19:46,541 --> 00:19:47,542
I know it.

449
00:19:48,141 --> 00:19:50,044
Baseball makes me want to exist.

450
00:19:50,112 --> 00:19:54,339
You... You make me want to live.

451
00:19:55,183 --> 00:19:59,020
God... damn it.

452
00:20:22,961 --> 00:20:23,903
As many of you know,

453
00:20:24,015 --> 00:20:26,150
it was our plan to
encourage a bankruptcy

454
00:20:26,217 --> 00:20:27,819
of the Morristown baseball team

455
00:20:27,886 --> 00:20:29,620
so that we could demolish the stadium

456
00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,889
and build a long-needed wastewater pit.

457
00:20:31,956 --> 00:20:34,191
Well, unfortunately,
attendance is much higher

458
00:20:34,259 --> 00:20:35,647
than, uh, our models predicted,

459
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,694
so, uh, it is my position

460
00:20:37,774 --> 00:20:41,114
that we take a much
more... aggressive stance.

461
00:20:41,154 --> 00:20:43,534
Um, all in favor?

462
00:20:43,601 --> 00:20:45,137
Okay, good.

463
00:20:45,195 --> 00:20:49,398
Last but certainly not least.

464
00:20:52,878 --> 00:20:55,147
Sweet, sweet Deb.

465
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:57,081
My favorite memories
of you will always be

466
00:20:57,140 --> 00:20:59,495
from the 2013 retreat in Mazatlán.

467
00:20:59,550 --> 00:21:00,952
You were a diamond

468
00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:02,954
that glittered for us all that weekend,

469
00:21:03,021 --> 00:21:04,522
and call me sentimental,

470
00:21:04,589 --> 00:21:07,037
but I'd like to see you
glitter one more time.

471
00:21:07,108 --> 00:21:10,762
So, Deb, do you remember...

472
00:21:10,829 --> 00:21:12,397
the Margarita Men?

473
00:21:15,434 --> 00:21:18,003
Look at her face! We
love you, Deborah Gortley!

474
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:19,538
Whoo!

475
00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:21,272
Mazatlán! Mazatlán!

476
00:21:21,339 --> 00:21:22,441
Mazatlán! Mazatlán!

477
00:21:22,508 --> 00:21:24,009
This is Pennsylvania Shale right here!

478
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:25,777
This is why we do what we do!

479
00:21:27,212 --> 00:21:28,480
Look at her! Look at here!

480
00:21:30,929 --> 00:21:34,996
Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for
- www.addic7ed.com -